Thank you for your sweet comments and advice. I am doing better and realizing just what issues occurred to cause me to stress out so badly. It's a daily thing but each day, I feel better. I'm also pretty sure this is hormone-related - sometimes it's such a bummer to be female! And, yes, I've been praying, a lot. I've tried to focus on being thankful.
I shared this on my other blog: My daughter, Carmen, sent in a drawing to "Nature Friend" magazine, in the section that shows how to draw a subject (in this case, a blue jay) and encourages children to send in their work. We just got our issue and it was SO exciting to see her drawing in there (page 16, if you get the magazine). What fun! It's a lovely magazine, too - great for homeschoolers, nature/animal-oriented and Christian-based.
I am working on an item to enter into a writing contest that has a deadline at the end of April. I know my chances are slim but that's not the p0int. It's good for me to do things like this and the purpose of the contest is to further the careers of new writers. There's a cash prize as well which, I'm sure, comes from the entry fee (it's nominal). It's good for me to have a goal in mind and a deadline doesn't hurt to "get it done". I work better under pressure, I think (at least, some of the time). I always have this idea that what I put on the "page" needs to have a purpose or a reason. So, my "reason", in this case, is to enter the contest and see what happens.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Spring Lament
I see it's been another long pause between creative thought. I have a good reason. Stress. My body has reached a point where I have to listen to it. And it's telling me that I am too stressed. So, my friends, I could use some advice. How do YOU handle stress?
So much for creative thought.
In other news, my husband and son each bought a female beta fish. We are now a six fish tank family. It's getting out of hand. Fish have run amok. At least they are house broken.
Me? I recently watered the two houseplants I bought last year for my kitchen, to brighten up the room. Hard to brighten up a room when they are thirsting for water. I'm not much of a green thumb. I'd hate to see what would happen if I had fish to care for as well. (All the fish belong to my family - I claim NO responsibility, thank you very much.)
God, will spring every truly arrive? It's cold, rainy, misty, wet, foggy ... in other words, welcome to the Northwest. I want sun and warmth, badly. This is the time of year I start to regret our move here, until I see the daffodils blooming - I never saw a daffodil until we moved to Oregon. God put the daffodils here to give us hope. Hope that someday it will be warm again. Someday.
So much for creative thought.
In other news, my husband and son each bought a female beta fish. We are now a six fish tank family. It's getting out of hand. Fish have run amok. At least they are house broken.
Me? I recently watered the two houseplants I bought last year for my kitchen, to brighten up the room. Hard to brighten up a room when they are thirsting for water. I'm not much of a green thumb. I'd hate to see what would happen if I had fish to care for as well. (All the fish belong to my family - I claim NO responsibility, thank you very much.)
God, will spring every truly arrive? It's cold, rainy, misty, wet, foggy ... in other words, welcome to the Northwest. I want sun and warmth, badly. This is the time of year I start to regret our move here, until I see the daffodils blooming - I never saw a daffodil until we moved to Oregon. God put the daffodils here to give us hope. Hope that someday it will be warm again. Someday.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Letting Go
A day or so after I wrote my last post, I happened to see my husband's upper right arm. That blasted patient DID bite him! I was just too sleepy to comprehend what my husband said when he got home from work that Monday morning. He worked for the next few nights and didn't mention it again until I saw his arm and shrieked. Praise the Lord (hallelujah, amen, etc.) she bit him through his shirt sleeve and didn't break the skin, or else I'd have to throttle her. I don't care if she's just a pathetic, 20-year old meth addict, don't you go biting my husband who's trying to help you, dang it! I was pretty upset for a time but I'm over it (mostly). I know God loves her and she needs help. I had been praying for her and probably will pray for her again, but not this week. It disturbs me that I might pass this person on the street or in a store, not knowing that she's the one who injured my husband. He can't tell me who it is, according to law. But she's out there. I need to let God handle this. I have to let it go.
On a happier note, I think I wrote on this blog awhile back that on our 20th wedding anniversary last August, we had the waitress take our photo at the restaurant we celebrated at and I proceeded to lose the film. After I found the roll, I had it developed; however, the photos were never returned to the store and I thought our special photo was lost. And then ...
Todd had four rolls of film developed last week (we don't move too fast to get our film developed so the rolls stack up). As we were looking through the pictures, to our great surprise, there was our anniversary photo! I started to cry (of course), I couldn't believe it. I had been praying that we would find that photo and God answered my prayer! Oh, happy day!
I am not going to torture myself in trying to figure out what was on the roll of film that was lost. It's just lost. Let it go.
On a happier note, I think I wrote on this blog awhile back that on our 20th wedding anniversary last August, we had the waitress take our photo at the restaurant we celebrated at and I proceeded to lose the film. After I found the roll, I had it developed; however, the photos were never returned to the store and I thought our special photo was lost. And then ...
Todd had four rolls of film developed last week (we don't move too fast to get our film developed so the rolls stack up). As we were looking through the pictures, to our great surprise, there was our anniversary photo! I started to cry (of course), I couldn't believe it. I had been praying that we would find that photo and God answered my prayer! Oh, happy day!
I am not going to torture myself in trying to figure out what was on the roll of film that was lost. It's just lost. Let it go.
Monday, March 9, 2009
This Day of Mine
I had what I would describe as a "creepy" kind of day today. And I need to talk about it.
It wasn't a bad day, school and housework went well. But it started off weird. I woke up at 6:30 am which is earlier than I had planned to wake up. Todd usually gets home from work at 7:30. I tried to go back to sleep but I started hearing strange creaking noises coming from the living room. It wasn't exactly dark out but it wasn't light yet either. I kept dozing and waking up every time I heard a creak. I thought about getting up and investigating but I was too tired and decided that if anything WAS in the living room, Todd could deal with it when he got home. I prayed for his protection at work, stopped being scared of the creaking and went back to sleep. Then I began getting startled by what sounded like animal noises. Thought I heard a low growl, then a few bump-bumps, then a bit of a whine (and we do not have any animals that make noise). It wasn't coming from the kids' rooms. It had snowed during the night and perhaps there were noises outside being muffled by the snow, I don't know. But, again, I was so tired I tried to shake my unsettled feelings and finally fell asleep.
Todd came home an hour later than usual (8:30 am). It turns out that he had to help restrain a meth-withdrawal patient that was trying to bite him and the other nurses while they were attempting to care for her. Todd ended up getting a scratch on his wrist which freaked me out until he reassured me that he would be o.k. (At least this patient didn't have HIV and Todd has had a Hepatitis shot.) But the amazing thing is that I prayed for God's protection on him about 1/2 hour before this occurred. I can be unusually sensitive to ... well, lots of things, especially situations concerning my loved ones and this was one of those times, I believe. God woke me and led me to pray for my husband, at the right time. This patient had already bitten a female nurse on a previous shift. I fully believe God protected my husband from being bitten. Praise the Lord!
The rest of the day was actually a good one, except the weather was strange. Like I said, it had snowed throughout the night and continued to snow off and on, all day long. In between the snow, it rained, hailed, then blue sky and sun. The wind blew and then it was still. It was just all over the place, weather-wise today. Out my kitchen window, I can see up the street and it being trash pick-up day, I could see all my neighbors' trash cans lined up the hill. On one open bin, I saw our neighborhood sea gull sitting, eating his lunch. He apparently sidelined two crows who had been sitting there earlier. This particular sea gull is a frequent guest on our hill. He walks up and down the street, several times a week. We had never seen him fly until today. When our trash man approached, the sea gull flew off - indignant, I'm sure. The kids and I laughed, watching all this.
Later today, I was washing the dishes and, while looking down at the sink, I heard a loud "thump!" Oh, no! Alec looked out the front door and, sure enough, a poor little brown bird laid there, dead. I cried. We haven't had a bird hit our kitchen window in a long, long time (fortunately). I asked Chad if he'd take care of it but he declined. Then I realized that it was a "Mom" thing so I carefully took it across the street to the vacant lot. It took me a long time to get up the courage to pick it up (wearing gloves, of course!) but I did it. Sigh. I hate to kill spiders, for goodness sake. Bird deaths really upset me. I'm so very thankful I didn't see it hit the window. At least its death was quick. And maybe, just maybe, it was only stunned. Perhaps it came to its senses and flew away. Oh, do you think?
Yeah, today was kind of creepy. I'm so glad I know Jesus. Days like today would have a different meaning if I didn't know that God is in control and we don't need to be concerned when things seem weird. And that knowledge keeps me from dwelling on the bizarre happenings in everyday life. It's just life.
It wasn't a bad day, school and housework went well. But it started off weird. I woke up at 6:30 am which is earlier than I had planned to wake up. Todd usually gets home from work at 7:30. I tried to go back to sleep but I started hearing strange creaking noises coming from the living room. It wasn't exactly dark out but it wasn't light yet either. I kept dozing and waking up every time I heard a creak. I thought about getting up and investigating but I was too tired and decided that if anything WAS in the living room, Todd could deal with it when he got home. I prayed for his protection at work, stopped being scared of the creaking and went back to sleep. Then I began getting startled by what sounded like animal noises. Thought I heard a low growl, then a few bump-bumps, then a bit of a whine (and we do not have any animals that make noise). It wasn't coming from the kids' rooms. It had snowed during the night and perhaps there were noises outside being muffled by the snow, I don't know. But, again, I was so tired I tried to shake my unsettled feelings and finally fell asleep.
Todd came home an hour later than usual (8:30 am). It turns out that he had to help restrain a meth-withdrawal patient that was trying to bite him and the other nurses while they were attempting to care for her. Todd ended up getting a scratch on his wrist which freaked me out until he reassured me that he would be o.k. (At least this patient didn't have HIV and Todd has had a Hepatitis shot.) But the amazing thing is that I prayed for God's protection on him about 1/2 hour before this occurred. I can be unusually sensitive to ... well, lots of things, especially situations concerning my loved ones and this was one of those times, I believe. God woke me and led me to pray for my husband, at the right time. This patient had already bitten a female nurse on a previous shift. I fully believe God protected my husband from being bitten. Praise the Lord!
The rest of the day was actually a good one, except the weather was strange. Like I said, it had snowed throughout the night and continued to snow off and on, all day long. In between the snow, it rained, hailed, then blue sky and sun. The wind blew and then it was still. It was just all over the place, weather-wise today. Out my kitchen window, I can see up the street and it being trash pick-up day, I could see all my neighbors' trash cans lined up the hill. On one open bin, I saw our neighborhood sea gull sitting, eating his lunch. He apparently sidelined two crows who had been sitting there earlier. This particular sea gull is a frequent guest on our hill. He walks up and down the street, several times a week. We had never seen him fly until today. When our trash man approached, the sea gull flew off - indignant, I'm sure. The kids and I laughed, watching all this.
Later today, I was washing the dishes and, while looking down at the sink, I heard a loud "thump!" Oh, no! Alec looked out the front door and, sure enough, a poor little brown bird laid there, dead. I cried. We haven't had a bird hit our kitchen window in a long, long time (fortunately). I asked Chad if he'd take care of it but he declined. Then I realized that it was a "Mom" thing so I carefully took it across the street to the vacant lot. It took me a long time to get up the courage to pick it up (wearing gloves, of course!) but I did it. Sigh. I hate to kill spiders, for goodness sake. Bird deaths really upset me. I'm so very thankful I didn't see it hit the window. At least its death was quick. And maybe, just maybe, it was only stunned. Perhaps it came to its senses and flew away. Oh, do you think?
Yeah, today was kind of creepy. I'm so glad I know Jesus. Days like today would have a different meaning if I didn't know that God is in control and we don't need to be concerned when things seem weird. And that knowledge keeps me from dwelling on the bizarre happenings in everyday life. It's just life.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Less To Do
Be glad for me ... I finially finished a few things this past weekend.
1. My daughter's robe. About 7+ years ago, when my daughter was still a baby (before she could sit up, even) I purchased a pattern and leopard-like fleece fabric to make robes for all three of my kids. Each kid had a different color of fleece, Carmen's being a pretty dark mauvish color. I made the first robe for my oldest son, right away. I remember sitting on the floor, cutting out the fabric with Carmen sleeping in her infant seat next to me. The boys were racing around me (they were 3 and 5) and the livingroom had barely any furniture in it. I had high hopes of making the other two robes. Didn't happen. What did happen was that Chad outgrew his robe (Alec has it now) and I FINALLY began cutting out Carmen's robe a few months ago. A FEW MONTHS AGO! So I'm a bit slow. Anyway, I FINISHED IT! This weekend, I just shut out everyone and everything else and got the thing done. I was SO happy! I washed it and presented it to my daughter. She is happy but I had to ask her to try it on. She tried it on and was still happy. But ... I know deep in my heart that she'll likely never wear it. Sigh. She is very picky about what she wears, meaning if it's not a sweatshirt and sweatpants, it will probably hang in her closet. Another sigh. This is a child that will not wear more than one layer, even if she's cold. And she's cold often. I have told her that she can wear the robe if she's cold but I'm not going to say another word. It's up to her if she wears it or not. All that matters to me is that I finished something I started. Better late than never.
2. I finished and mailed out my fed taxes! Praise the Lord! Every year, I set a goal to get them done by February and this year I met my goal! Since I had Alec and Carmen (late Jan and early Feb babies) meeting this goal became more difficult. But it's done and gone. Big sigh!
3. Todd started cutting out the pine derby racers I mentioned in my last post. He and the kids finialized their designs and I let Carmen design mine. The kids have been doing a little shaping here and there. It is encouraging to see this project moving along. I think the cars will look really good.
I am inspired to work on other projects I have started. Every time I get discouraged, I will remind myself that I have the ability to finish it. Some day.
1. My daughter's robe. About 7+ years ago, when my daughter was still a baby (before she could sit up, even) I purchased a pattern and leopard-like fleece fabric to make robes for all three of my kids. Each kid had a different color of fleece, Carmen's being a pretty dark mauvish color. I made the first robe for my oldest son, right away. I remember sitting on the floor, cutting out the fabric with Carmen sleeping in her infant seat next to me. The boys were racing around me (they were 3 and 5) and the livingroom had barely any furniture in it. I had high hopes of making the other two robes. Didn't happen. What did happen was that Chad outgrew his robe (Alec has it now) and I FINALLY began cutting out Carmen's robe a few months ago. A FEW MONTHS AGO! So I'm a bit slow. Anyway, I FINISHED IT! This weekend, I just shut out everyone and everything else and got the thing done. I was SO happy! I washed it and presented it to my daughter. She is happy but I had to ask her to try it on. She tried it on and was still happy. But ... I know deep in my heart that she'll likely never wear it. Sigh. She is very picky about what she wears, meaning if it's not a sweatshirt and sweatpants, it will probably hang in her closet. Another sigh. This is a child that will not wear more than one layer, even if she's cold. And she's cold often. I have told her that she can wear the robe if she's cold but I'm not going to say another word. It's up to her if she wears it or not. All that matters to me is that I finished something I started. Better late than never.
2. I finished and mailed out my fed taxes! Praise the Lord! Every year, I set a goal to get them done by February and this year I met my goal! Since I had Alec and Carmen (late Jan and early Feb babies) meeting this goal became more difficult. But it's done and gone. Big sigh!
3. Todd started cutting out the pine derby racers I mentioned in my last post. He and the kids finialized their designs and I let Carmen design mine. The kids have been doing a little shaping here and there. It is encouraging to see this project moving along. I think the cars will look really good.
I am inspired to work on other projects I have started. Every time I get discouraged, I will remind myself that I have the ability to finish it. Some day.
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