The Coincidence

It's happening again.

I have this knack for coincidences. It's like they are drawn to me, like a vortex with me at the center. I used to think if was eerie, but now I think I'm just overly sensitive to them so I notice them more. I also ponder them for awhile, which is why they stay in my head for a time.

The following are coincidences that have happened to me in the last 2 months:

- My son, Chad, and I were driving into town to the bank. It's a small town, 10,000 people, and the bank is about 2 miles away. In that time, we began to discuss the type of car my husband used to want to buy. We hadn't seen one in a long time; in fact, we couldn't remember the name of the car, even though Todd used to point out this particular car every time he saw one. We pulled up to the drive-through at the bank and at the same time saw the car in front of us. In unison, Chad and I said, "Eagle Vision!" Yep, it was the car in question.

- Another car issue. Chad and I were walking in our neighborhood, taking a different loop which led us into a street we hadn't walked on in a long time. We were discussing the Neon, another car we hadn't seen in a long time. We came around a corner and there sat a Neon. Again, we both said, "A Neon!" This may become a recurring theme.

- About two weeks ago, I was listening to my all classical radio station out of Portland and they were playing Beethoven's only opera, "Fidelio", mentioning the fact that it was originally called "Leonora". The following Sunday, on our local radio station, they played the entire opera during the Sunday morning opera time. Here is where I learned more about the plot and storyline. I didn't like it but the music was good. And then, 3 days later, we were in the car listening to different stations, when I came across music I recognized - sure enough, it was from "Fidelio" and they mentioned Leonora again. I couldn't get away from it!

- Today - I've been reading Frances Mayes book entitled, "In Tuscany", and her husband, Ed, writes a few chapters in this book. He quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson as saying, "Hitch your wagon to a star." Until today, I had never heard this quote (I need to read more Emerson) . Tonight, I was reading a news story from the home page online about Ed McMahon who just passed away. In this news story, they quote him from several interviews and in one of the interviews, he is talking about his good fortune to work with Johnny Carson. He says, "There's the old phrase, hook your wagon to a star. I hitched my wagon to a great star." I found it interesting that I read this phrase by Emerson twice within a few hours of each other, from completely different sources.

I think it's kind of fun to notice a coincidence. It's not hard, they happen all the time. Have I mentioned this one: My husband's mother is married to Bob, my stepfather-in-law. He has two daughters, and one of them (Lisa) was in my 8th grade English class. Bob didn't know my mother-in-law at that time. I remember his daughter from that class but she doesn't remember me very well. What's more, one my best friends from that time is Jeree, who was also good friends with Lisa. Bob remembers Jeree very well. And get this: My husband's sister, Jill, worked with Jeree for a time about 15 years ago. So, when I get my yearly Christmas newsletter from Jeree, I update Jill and Bob on how Jeree and her family are doing. Got all that?

I told you this is fun!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

We've been doing a lot walking in our neighborhood this past week and it's been fun and interesting observing all the gardens. Some are carefully planned, some have made some gallant attempts and others are pretty much weed gardens. Most everyone has the same plants (all bought at one of three local nurseries) so it's a challenge to seek out more unusual plants and flowers. I love the hidden gardens that we have seen. There are even some hidden homes that I never noticed before, blocked from view by trees or shrubs, sometimes unruly overgrowth. One home has an old bicycle as an ornamental element (?) O.k. Lots of trees have been cut down, due to that bad storm we had at the end of 2007. Which has given some people on the hill a view they never had.

I wish I had a gardener's touch. I can only read about it and observe others' creativity. Perhaps I just lack confidence. Is it a learned technique? Or are you born that way?

The book I'm reading is discussing gardens in Italy. Now there's some creativity, to be sure. Centuries-old creativity, in the form of mazes, pergolas and fountains. Gardens were often an extension of the home, apparently. I guess when you live in a place that allows you to be outside often, a lovely garden would be like having another room. That certainly can't be done here.

I will be content with my geranium in a pot on my deck, flanked by our potted strawberries, peppers and tomatoes. For now. If I start reading soon, perhaps I can expand my horizons next year.

In A Mood

A month ago today, I was in Leavenworth, WA, celebrating my birthday. My, how time flies.

Anyway, I've been re-reading "My Life In France", by Julia Child, and it inspired me to find her first cookbook online. As I was looking for it, I discovered that this book (the one I just read) has been made into a movie, starring Meryl Streep! I can't think of anyone else in this role, as I happen to be in awe of Ms. Streep and her chameleon-like acting ability. I don't think this movie is out yet (we don't go to the movies) but if anyone of you do happen to see it, I'd love to know what you thought of it.

I think I've found the Julia Child cookbook I want to get. Who better to learn how to cook from? I still struggle with my cooking ability, although I love to read cookbooks and books about cooking. Eating is not my favorite thing to do so I don't know why I like reading about food. Bon appetit!

It's not fair. I'm newly 46 and I thought I'd have my life in better order by now. No. I'm still pretty much the same person I was 20 years ago, in a lot of ways. Perhaps I need to concentrate on the good things about me that I still am, rather than focus on the things I still am and wish I wasn't. I'll give you a minute to figure out that last sentence ...

You know, I think my braces make me feel younger somehow. Isn't THAT a strange thing to think?

I apologize for the mood I've been in lately. Age has been a theme and a depressing one at that. I hope this passes. And soon.

O.k., think about something I am now that I wasn't 20 years ago. The mother of 3 children. Considering I thought I would never be a mom, that's a pretty good something. (Thank you, Lord!)

Strange Days

Is it just me or are strange things happening around your neighborhood as well?

A few days ago, my family was out on our after dinner stroll, this time all five of us, when we passed by a neighbor's house. My husband knows this neighbor and this man waved us down to his home, (his driveway is long and on an incline, therefore, we had to walk "down"). He seemed very friendly, even overly so, and that's when I saw the bottle of beer in his hand. Bummer. I'm not at all comfortable with people who have been drinking and here we were with all my kids as well. The neighbor wanted us all to come in to see his newly remodeled kitchen. Apparently, Todd had installed a counter top for this neighbor years ago (back when he was a self-employed cabinet maker) and now that counter top has been removed and replaced, along with other changes to the kitchen. It was really nice and we all enjoyed seeing his home. But ... this guy was drunk, at least he was a happy drunk. He tried to call his wife out to meet us but apparently she was, how did he put it ... "Oh, she's gone," he said, and we guessed she had already passed out from her evening imbibing. It was only 8:00 pm for goodness sake! Anyway, we politely left as soon as we could and when we got home, we had a really good discussion with the kids about his behavior. We discussed how we shouldn't talk bad about him but also how drinking affects your behavior, etc. It turned out to be a good discussion but I really didn't expect the night to turn out like it did. We saw him again tonight, wielding a weed-eater and we were hoping he was sober.

A few weeks ago, we went to get milk at our favorite pharmacy and we saw that the front door was all closed up with wood and the glass was gone. When we asked what had happened, they said a lady had pulled up in front of the store and stepped on the gas instead of the brake. She was in her 70's and had a small dog on her lap. Fortunately, no one was really injured, except for a man who was hit by a side mirror, scraping his arm. Stupid and strange.

We had a garage sale over Memorial Day. It went reasonably well, had good weather and most people bought something. My son did nearly all the work, bless him. However, our first customer was a family of ethnic origin, bringing with them a small boy wearing a face mask and a smaller girl with sniffles. Ugh! Why on earth did they feel the need to drag these sick kids to our sale I don't know. I took their money and after they left, I put the bills in a baggie and sprayed Lysol in it and let if dry. I know, I know, I'm paranoid but after they left, we went inside and listened to the local news on the radio. They announced the first swine flu case in our county. Great, just great. My husband said, "Yeah, the second case just left our garage sale!" I was not amused. Strange, stupid and sick!

The second customer that day was an older guy that pulled up in an old sedan with signs on the door protesting something or other. He bought a bunch of children's books and said he was a child psychiatrist for the police department. Then he said he had a stuffed bear in his car named after a character Elvis played in some movie. He was jittery and made me really nervous, especially after hearing about Elvis. Oooh, boy, was I glad when he left.

Fortunately, we had fairly normal people after that disturbing morning. We even had a guy buy our pedestal sink for $5.00. We were selling it so cheap because we got it free from another neighbor about 4 streets over last year. It turns out that this man grew up not far from where I did and we talked a fair amount. Too much, apparently, for his wife as she finally went out to their car and started the engine. He gave us the money for the sink and asked it he could come back later to pick it up. We said that was fine. And then he never showed. We still have the sink AND his money. It didn't feel right but I wasn't sure what to do. Then I decided I'd donate the money he gave us to a local charity, which DID feel right. But now we have to store the sink.

Perhaps June will be more normal - unless normal no longer mean what I think it means.

???

Is it possible to like change yet have difficulty adjusting to change?

Is it also possible to like to go to different places, even live in different places far and near, yet like the comfort of being at home?

How do you balance serving your family and allowing your kids to learn how to take care of themselves?

Why is it that about 60% of the time, when I go to the market, the handwipes container to clean the grocery carts is empty?

Which brings to mind another grocery store question: Is it normal to suspect that the store monitors what you buy just to discontinue selling that very item (we certainly feel this is true of our family, as this happens time and time again.)

Do you ever buy from those bulk containers that look less than sanitary?

Do you stack the dishwasher from the front to the back or vice versa?

Why is it that I only hear loud, strange noises in our neighborhood at night when my husband is at work.

Is it better to live life knowing the answers or asking questions? (This thought came from a book I'm reading called, "Crispin, The Cross of Lead" by Avi.)

This isn't a question, it's an answer (in case you were wondering). My teeth aren't hurting as much, it's getting easier to eat. I am adjusting. My daughter says my braces look beautiful.

Now how can I argue with that?

Bonding With My Son (It's Not What You Think)

Last Thursday, I officially joined the ranks (young and old) of brave souls who willingly allow a trained professional to glue metal brackets on your teeth that are guaranteed to inflict pain, usually when you least expect it. We even pay lots of money to let these people do this to us. And we curse them again and again, as we bite down on something as innocent as a toasted English muffin and wince in pain. The knowledge that you can't remove these darn things is somewhat akin to how The Man in The Iron Mask must have felt. At least that's my opinion. I'm at the end of Day 4 and still, it hurts. Advil has been my friend. I've even lost a pound because it just seemed easier not to eat, although today is better. At the table, my family shows sympathy whenever I wince, which is embarrassing to me but sweet of them. I have learned to eat nearly everything cut up in small bites, including sandwiches.

Last week, I told my mother (by phone) that I was getting braces. She was silent. Then she said, " I didn't think you could get braces when you are so old." Good ol' Mom.

When I walked into the orthodontist's office, all the workers (they are called "the girls", believe it or not) were standing there and they turned and stared at me. I stared back until I finally said, "Stop looking at me like that!" Todd told me later that they were all surprised that I kept my appointment, they figured I wouldn't show up. I guess I showed them. Apparently, I have a reputation in this office, as the orthodontist has been after me for a year to get braces. I've always given my excuses for not wanting them. He and my husband chat when Todd takes Chad in for his monthly adjustments. This was all Todd's idea, completely. I would not have dreamed of doing this, due to the expense and the inconvenience, not to mention the pain. I hate, hate, hate the "chair" - in ANY dental office. And now I am committed to "monthly" adjustments for 6-12 months - these people belong in a medieval torture chamber!!!

There ... now I've gotten my rant out of the way.

I really hate having my mouth propped open but that's what they have to do. I laid there for an hour, getting pumiced and glued. Wire inserted. Lovely shade of pink rubber bands wrapped around each brace. Todd came in and stood by the chair. Tears started to flow down my cheeks and into my ears (the chair was tilted into a near headstand position). As he looked down at me, I waited for Todd to say something comforting ... "You look like Wallace and Gromit*, you know, the way they smile?" Not what I expected. More tears. He held my hand and Chad came in, stood on the other side of me and held my other hand. That helped. The tech (or whatever her name or title is) finally removed the darn plastic mouth-prop thing and I felt my lips go over the braces for the first time. What did I feel? Panic! Oh, my gosh! This is me for many months to come! At least it's only the top row of teeth. Sigh.

Fortunately, the pain didn't begin right away. It hurt but I got through it. It's better now but there are times I still feel bummed. Everyone keeps saying how glad I'll be when it's done. I look forward to that time.

About the bonding with my son: Chad has been my support and my coach through this whole thing. I asked him a ton of questions before and after and he's been a doll. Very comforting. I love this kid. Now we have more in common than acne and the gift of gab.

*"Wallace and Gromit" is a British clay-mation series of short, silly movies - and not a complement to be compared to.

How I Spent My Birthday (For Once, It Wasn't On Mother's Day)

On May 8, 1963, a daughter was born to a family that already had 3 daughters. By then, Dad had given up on ever having a son, though he never, ever complained about it. It was close enough to Mother's Day that Mom always said their daughter was the best Mother's Day gift she could ever receive. That daughter was me, of course. Forever cursed to do the Birthday-Mother's Day dance. How do you celebrate both holidays properly, especially when they land on the very same day? Together? Not fair. Apart? Too frivolous. Add the mother-in-law in there and you've got more problems. I now live too far to even see my own Mom on Mother's Day. Sigh. This year, I had seriously felt like skipping them both altogether. Who cares, really? But my sweet husband had other ideas.

He secretly planned a short holiday for our family at one of our favorite places to visit. We were already scheduled to see our droll dermatologist in Portland and stay overnight, since it was so close to my birthday. But Todd went and booked two nights in Leavenworth, WA, for the following days! Imagine my surprise when I accidentally found this out by seeing an e-mail confirming our reservation! I felt SO badly for that but I couldn't undo what had been done. And I had to tell him I knew. He was bummed but I tried to cheer him up by telling him he should have seen my face when I found out! Anyway, he forgave me, I worked like mad to do a ton of laundry and we set off on a foggy, way-too-rainy Wednesday.

After our appointment, we went to the Oregon Zoo to see the baby elephant that was born 8 months ago. He's grown, all right! The zoo was basically empty as it had been raining and everyone else was at school (the joys of homeschooling!) A quick dinner at Togo's and back to our usual Portland hotel for the night. The kids usually have no trouble sleeping here as it's kind of like our home away from home but I guess they were excited about Leavenworth. Todd and Carmen slept - the rest of us struggled.

Up for our hotel breakfast and then on to Leavenworth. This town is set in what they call "The Enchantments", a valley surrounded by awesome mountains usually covered in snow. The town redid itself in a Bavarian theme and the hotel we stay at is one of the best there. It's definitely an infrequent treat. It has a huge breakfast room with amazing views of the mountains and serves an excellent breakfast, which is one of my kids' favorite things about it. I happen to love their oatmeal (I'm not hard to please). I got to watch the sun rise and set over the hills from our room and the moon was full or nearly so and one night, Todd and I went out to the large deck to look at the moon together. The moon gazing down on us over "The Enchantments" was very romantic. But the door back in was locked. Finding our way back into the hotel was fun - the place is big. It's so nice that the kids are old enough to stay in the room by themselves for a bit. Todd and I also went down and listened to the nightly piano music together. Good to spend alone time with my husband. When we first went into our hotel room, I saw that they had put out a bottle of sparkling cider with a card that said "Happy Birthday" with two wine glasses. On my birthday, all five of us toasted to me. My non-soda drinking kids didn't like the bubbles but that's just fine. I hope they always stay non-soda drinking! Todd and the kids also had cards for me to open. We ate well for every meal, I didn't have to do dishes, it was a great time all around. On my birthday, we ate at a restaurant called "Cafe Mozart". It was so cool and our meals were excellent. The background music was familiar to us (we like Mozart) and that night there was a harpist playing. She took to our family immediately and my kids ended up sitting with her while she played. I got a photo (for once) but only after I saw another lady take a picture and it dawned on me that I should do the same. I'm clueless about photo ops. We walked around the little shops, the kids swam and played racquetball, we golfed at the hotel's putting green. I had a wonderful time and a terrific birthday. Thanks, Todd!

After all this extravagance, I thought today would be rather quiet. My husband came home from work this morning and about an hour later, I finally got up and ready for the day. Walked into the kitchen and there was a dozen pink roses on the table with cards and donuts. Todd was cooking eggs and bacon. What a guy! He really made me feel special this week. I am so thankful for this husband of mine. He went to bed (he's working tonight) and my kids did the dishes. I read. After lunch, I took a nap in my big chair and when I woke up, I read some more. Without guilt. It felt terrific. In between, I finished unpacking our suitcases and did laundry. But it was a great Mother's Day. Oh, and my mother-in-law? She's been in Turkey since last Tuesday. I wonder what kind of day she had?