Thursday, June 26, 2008

I Hate Waiting

Here's another question ... How do you handle stress? (Warning - The following is a boring post about my present medical situation. Feel free to move on to another blog that makes you laugh!)

My friend, Cristina at jugglingpaynes, sweetly asked how I was feeling (thanks for thinking of me!). Amazingly, since my weird injured stomach muscle diagnosis, I've only had a few days of bothersome symptoms. My husband said that this is just the way I will be now - it's my future. Get used to it. Sigh. For awhile, when it was really bad (a few weeks ago) I felt like I'd never recover. I was so scared at each doctor visit, since I didn't know what was wrong. And I was terrified of what it might be. Having a diagnosis was a relief - at least I knew which direction to go to help myself. Even if there is not much I can do, I think I can manage it. I am so thankful to have days when I feel like nothing is wrong. I've learned how to isolate this central muscle and not use it, or at least to pull it in instead of letting it push out. And on the days I have symptoms, I try not to get uptight. Just manage it. My blood tests have all come back normal (super normal, in fact - hooray!) My nurse-husband gets annoyed when I press him for information, like "How can I make my blood levels even more super normal?" I am, however, wretchedly awaiting results from my abdominal ultrasound I had a week ago. (This was to rule out any other problems that might be present.) The (stinkin') radiology department said that they had sent the results to my doc but they hadn't. I might hear from him tomorrow or it could be another week. It's upsetting that I can't even read my own results. I'm paying for the darn thing, after all! So, that is still stressful but I am trying to think "Don't worry unless there is something to worry about".

To the average person, this would be logical. But I was born and raised by a sweet, loving, major-worrying Mom who looked for the worse-case scenario in everything. How can such a nice lady be such a worry wort? Worry is something that has been with me all my life, keeping me busy praying and trying to give up my woes to the Lord. I try. Really. But I let Him down all the time. He is able to carry my burden if I would only give it to him.

So, I'll await the final test result. I'll try not to think about it. Worry only if there's something to worry about. I'll let you know.


jugglingpaynes said...

I have a mom who is a worrier, so I tend to also do that from time to time. Here are two of my ways of fighting stress and worry:

-Stay present minded. When you feel yourself jumping ahead of time, tell yourself "Stop!" and bring yourself to the present by observing where you are, what you are doing.

-Breathe. I think the best part of practicing yoga is that I can really get into thinking about my breath. You can add a prayer to it. (for example, inhale "Your will," exhale "be done.") Focus on filling your lungs from the bottom of the ribcage to the collarbone.

And remember dear Kate, all that happens is not "good" or "bad" but merely experiences for us to grow with and learn from. They shape us into the beautiful people we are.

Take care, you are in my prayers.
Peace and Laughter!

Cate said...

HI there mate,

thanks for the encouragement left on my blog. Sorry to hear about the saga you've been dealing with, but than God that it is nothing more sinister. Will be praying that it settles down for you, and is eventually not a problem at all.

Chill out and have a great summer - and think of us with rain, hail and cold wind today!

Emily said...

I wonder why God made some of us to be more sensitive and it to come alongside others when THEY are worrying or fearful? Cause you've done that for me. Maybe He's giving you a wonderful clarity to help others.

and horray that you're really 'fit' (per doctor, right?) and NOW you have super great blood test results too? wow....wonderwoman.

appleleaf said...

Sounds like your medical personnel have been excellent! I'm sure having a diagnosis makes you easier in your mind and hope you can deal with your symptoms, as you lead a very active life. I'm so pleased that sitting around in waiting rooms having tests is over for you.
About your last post, I was glad to see what you said about letting a week pass from one post to the next, as I sometimes find myself doing the same. When I first started my blog in 1996, I was absolutely awestruck at the thought of making friends, like yourself, on the other side of the world. I don't think that thrill of easy communication will ever wear off. We are a bit isolated down south in our part of the world and it's a wonderful thing to be able to stay in touch so easily. Sometimes I can't believe we didn't such this technology such a short time ago.

appleleaf said...

Oops, me again. Why on earth did I say 1996? I haven't been blogging that long. I meant 2006.

Leingang Family said...

I will be praying for you. Remember that you can cast all your anxiety on Him. There is nothing He can't handle.

Anonymous said...

I hope everything turnes out ok for you! I'll pray for you! I hate waiting too! I sure seem to be able to relate to ailments lately. I'm not really close, but I feel strangely sympathetic to Job! Enjoyed catching up on your blog I especially liked your post before this one...pre blog stuff.

Mama Self said...

Waiting on the Lord can be difficult, especially for us planners. But He puts us in circumstances where we have no choice. I have had a swollen, painful ankle for months, and the docs just ordered an MRI for Wed...then I get to wait for the results. UGH! :) God will give us grace when we need it, and we can get peace from Him when we want it (Phil. 4:6-7). God bless us both while we wait! Have a great week, wonder-woman!