Pampered Cows

I found out some interesting news today. We buy our milk at Rite-Aid, a large pharmacy in our area. It is growth hormone-free and we buy it, five gallons at a time, on Tuesdays because on that day, everything in the store is 10% off. I've gotten to know one of the clerks there since he works on Tuesday and he likes to tell me information about the milk that I'm buying. Like how much the price has risen since last month and so on.

Today he told me about the cows. He said that they are bathed twice a day - yes, TWICE a day! Music is piped into the milking area. I meant to ask if they get to hear Mozart (or should that be Moozart?) The lawn on which they graze is not touched by chemicals and, not only that, the grass is manicured. Which brought to mind that scene from Gilligan's Island where the millionaire, Thurston Howell III, is lying on the grass, cutting individual blades with tiny nail scissors while his wive, Lovey, is sitting nearby, babbling. Don't ask me why I remember that scene but whenever I hear of a manicured lawn, that's what I picture. Anyone out there old enough to remember that scene? Or Gilligan's Island, for that matter? I digress ...

After I left the store, I got to thinking - I never get a bath twice a day. Manicured lawn? Yeah, right, it's all we can do to keep the sea of dandelions from growing so tall we lose Carmen amongst them. The piped-in music is possible - I do have speakers in the kitchen. But, really, those cows have it better than me! Then again, I'm not being asked to give up my milk for someone else's children. And I like the fact that the cows are being treated well.

I'll never complain about the rising price of milk again. Not when I'm thinking about those clean cows swaying to the music, being gently milked in a large, air-conditioned barn, painted pink of course. Gazing out the picture windows at the chemical-free lawn. The manicured lawn. Heck, give the cows a manicure, too. Why not.