Sunday, August 5, 2007

Lessons At 12

My oldest recently turned 12, got glasses and is scheduled for braces. And his voice cracked for the first time (that we've noticed) a few days ago. That's a lot of change in a short time. In addition to all this, he's also had to learn how to deal with various disappointing events, also in the past two weeks. Nothing really major. Some of these lessons he dealt with on his own. The others, well, he needed Mom to hold him tight and let him cry. It's been interesting to watch how he deals with each incident. How badly I want to make things go his way but, of course, I know the great benefit of learning how to handle change, how to react when things don't go as you expected, what to do when things don't go your way. These are important lessons that he needs to learn. He's always been a bit on the sensitive side, which is good most of the time as long as there is balance. Be tough when you need to, soft when necessary. How I wish I knew if I was doing the best job I can to help him learn these lessons. Being a girl and raised with nothing but girls, that's all I know! But boys - I'm still clueless. I'm the one he's with most of the time so I know that sensitive side comes from me. And I'm not that great at being tough. I guess we'll learn together. I certainly can tell when a disappointment is worth crying over or just a shrug and go on with life. This I CAN teach! But then, I also don't want to make him feel stupid for being upset about something that I think isn't worth it. Oh, gosh. I could go on and on, couldn't I? Anyway, life goes on and we do the best we can. And with lots of prayer, I can help my first born navigate the rough and tumble world of adolescence.

3 comments:

Kathleen aka Coffee Mom said...

When I was pregnant with Billy, I was so terrified. Terrified because I grew up the only child of a single mother. (Turns out I'm not an only child, but that's a whole other story) I never had any real male influence in my life. I had no idea how to relate to boys/men. Heck, I could barely relate to my husband!

I worried about what I was going to do when Billy was 13 and had friends coming over. I was so scared of the thought of 13 year old boys in my house that I forgot Billy was going to be a baby first. I wasn't getting a teenage dropped in my lap. I'd have plenty of time to learn about boys and I'd get to know his friends from long before they were 13 too. So far it's worked out pretty well. I still don't understand their fascination with bathroom humor and farts.

appleleaf said...

Kate,
I think it's great to have sons because they help us learn that boys really "are" sensitive. Some women I know who have only daughters seem to still think of boys in the old, stereotyped way, you know, lots of energy, not as much feeling.
Aren't 12yo boys interesting people? Sometimes they seem on the threshold of manhood and other times, as you mentioned, they burst into tears.
Having said all that, I loved reading about Carmen a few posts down. I love what you said about her kissing everything cute. Girls bring something special of their own. You've reminded me that we're blessed to have sons, but really blessed to have daughters too.
Paula

nsremom said...

12 seems old, huh? My son will be 12 in October....sniff, sniff.