Wednesday, May 23, 2007

How Do We Love Them?

Think back ... do you recall the things your mother did for you that made you feel especially loved? I was thinking the other day how my kids might interpret my love for them. I mean, they know I love them in the usual way mom's do but there are certain things I do for them individually that I know they appreciate. When I do these things, I know they feel especially loved and when I don't do them, they notice!

My oldest, who's 11-1/2, feels loved when I listen to him. He's a story teller and knows how to catch me when I have ears available to listen (like when I'm doing the dishes). And before he goes to bed, I usually hear a quick story - helps him go to sleep if he can get that story out of his head! He also appreciates it when I prepare a green apple for him - even better if I offer it before he asks!

My middle son, who is 9, feels loved when I help him with a project. He is project-oriented, big projects, that require lots of thinking and materials. He doesn't get this kind of help often because he usually wants something we can't afford or it doesn't exist yet. (His request to build a full-size model of The Concord a few years back was not fulfilled, for example.) But I try hard to meet him halfway and do what projects I can manage. It's hard when he has an image in his head that I can't help him produce. But when it works, it's a beautiful thing! A simpler thing he loves is when I sit on his bed at night and let him talk about whatever is on his mind. He usually shows me things in his room that are important to him at the moment.

My 6 yo daughter feels loved when we go for a walk up the hill we live on, just the two of us. I used to be the one to point out things to her but now she does all the talking. She holds my hand tightly and balances on the curb. I love this time, too, as our house is full of boy-noise. We both appreciate the peace of God's creation. She also loves it when I warm her towel for her after a bath. If I don't, she gets very miffed!

I try not to spoil my kids. But I think there is a difference in spoiling and doing something they especially like me to do. Every kid needs to know their mother is their biggest fan and that they are special in her eyes, and the more kids in the family, the more important this is. So, what special things do you do for your kids? Is it time to start? It's worth it!

When I was little, I always looked forward to my morning hug from my mom. And she always let go before I did. Now, amazingly, my oldest comes right to me in the morning, looking for his hug and, you know, I'm the one who lets go first now! This fact just dawned on me today and I told my son that he was just like me when I was young. Tomorrow, I'll try not to be the first one to let go!

1 comment:

Cate said...

You know Kate, I'm seriously concerned about the mothering skills of someone who won't facilitate their child's dream of building a life size concord :-)

What lovely moments you've listed- treasure them!